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| Lover's sun |
MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS..
“When I got home that night
as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to
tell you. She sat down
and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know
how to open my mouth. But I hadto let her know what I was thinking. I want a
divorce. I raised
the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my
words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry.
She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other.
She was weeping.
I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a
deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which
stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and
then tore it into
pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt
sorry for her wasted
time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so
dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I
had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for
several weeks seemed
to be firmer and clearer now.The next day, I came back home very late and found
her writing
something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very
fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When
I woke up, she was
still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I
turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce
conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a
month’s notice
before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we
both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her
reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him
with our broken
marriage. This was
agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her
into out bridal
room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of
our bedroom
to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days
together bearable
I accepted her odd request.I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. .
She laughed
loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the
divorce, she said scornfully.
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| Option-less Heart |
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since
my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the
first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mommy in his arms.
His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door,
I walked over ten
meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the
divorce. I nodded,
feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work.
I drove alone to
the office. On the
second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned
on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this
woman carefully
for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her
hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a
minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the
fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and
sixth day, I realized
that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier
to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday
workout made me
stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She
tried on quite a
few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she
sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized
that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly
it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I
reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad,
it’s time to carry
mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his
life. My wife
gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was
afraid I might
change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my
arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to
the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was
just like our wedding
day. But her
much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move
a step. Our son
had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t
noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door. I
was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door
and I said to her,
Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched
my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off
my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she
and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love
each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I
am supposed
to hold her until death does us apart. Jane seemed to
suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop
on the way, I
ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me
what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do
us apart. That
evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my
face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She
knew that she would
die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in
case we push through
with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son —- I’m a
loving husband…. The small details of your lives are what really
matter in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive
for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do
those little things
for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy
marriage! If you
don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many
of life’s failures
are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
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| Realizing the warmth of love |
Note* This article was shared in the face book by my friend
Rigzang and found very touching and worth to archive. I inserted the picture.
